Surrender

"The eye at the center of Her forehead is wide open, but none can plumb its depths. Its timeless, spaceless recesses exude an invisible nectar that is palpable but unseen. Under its intoxicating influence all beings are experiencing a transcendent Bliss that is indescribable. Excruciating fear and all-attracting Love are both dissolved in that state, which destroys the very idea of division. In the complete oneness of boundless peace, all comes to rest at last in total unity and the primal Goddess returns to Her own abode, the heart of [the God], as suddenly as she came without warning! The "revered spiritual father" who describes this awesome spectacle is no more than a child before Her. Gazing through torrents of blissful tears,
he manages to articulate only a few syllables,
chanting, 'Aum Ma, Aum Ma, Aum Ma', over and over again."

Babaji Bob Kindler
From Twenty-four Aspects of Mother Kali, pg 3-4
1996

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I give. I surrender. I allow myself to be swaddled, to be reduced, to be destroyed and rebuilt. I allow myself to be cared for, and to be loved. I allow myself to not do it all, to not be in control. I surrender and submit to the process, and to the patience.
I fear myself, I love myself.
I fear you. I love you.
I surrender.

Through my tears and frustrations I see you sitting patiently and smiling. You wait. You have seen it before, and are not threatened, or worried, or confused.
You wait and smile.

I finish my thrashing about, and you open your arms to me. I gasp for air, for life, for joy. I release into you, and feel my ego float away from me, carried by the tidal wave of tears. I feel your warmth and softness, and bury myself in it.
I return home, to the first place I ever knew.
I finally let you hold me.

All I can do is feel you, and breathe into your love.
I whisper your name over and over again.
I know that I am here, and I am safe.

Mom, Mommy, Ma,
Mamma, Mata, Madre, Mother, Ima, Mutter, Moeder,
Nancy, Rose, Norma, Lena,
Lakshmi, Maria, Kali, Durga, Kuan Yin, Freya, Shekina, Mokosh,
Thank you.

Jai Ma!